


Brand New Eyes

by darkershadeoflove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cas is an angel again, Demon!Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Feels, Fluff, Goodbye speech, I promise it has a happy ending, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Post Season 10, Promises, Sad, Sad/angst with happy ending, Sweet, Sweet Ending, after season 9 finale, devils trap, feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllssss, hurt!Dean, kiss, mourning Sam, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 08:35:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1738151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkershadeoflove/pseuds/darkershadeoflove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deans once life green eyes snapped open to pitch black pools. How will the angel of Thursday react to upon seeing him alive and breathing as one of Hell's most dangerous demon?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brand New Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! I hope you guys are in much better shape than me because let me tell you that finale just killed me;~;  
> After days of crying and being an emotional wreck, i decided to unleash my feels in a fanfic. I hope you enjoy it and please correct me of my mistakes. I wrote this on my phone and sent to my email then copied and pasted it on here. I felt it needed something more and boom i kinda made some feels. Please tell me what you think:D
> 
> (p.s I love the movie Avatar, and one of the phrases stuck to me and i always wanted to use it!! You'll know which one it is)
> 
> Enjoy<3 !!

Summary: Deans once life green eyes, snapped open to pitch black pools. How will the bluest barer of eyes react to this?

 

Sam paced back and forth in his room, running his hands through his hair desperately. He eyes were red and puffy from crying, his nose red along the nostrils. He heard him calling his name again, angrily, but never once did he beg. Sam slammed his hands down on the wall, he wanted to scream, he wanted to cry out, he wanted to do so many things but above all, he wanted his big brother back. 

He heard him call his name again, still angry but in a softer tone. "Sammy, release me, let me talk to you. I want to talk to you face to face." Dean called from the dungeon. Sam, with fresh new tears in his eyes, shook his head no and brought up a hand to cover his mouth from crying out. As he sank to his knees sobbing silently, his other hand dragged along the wall, he was breathing loud, he feared Dean could hear him, he felt like the only sound in the entire bunker. Minus Deans yells. 

Sam woke up in the middle of the night on the floor tucked into a little ball. He felt like shit, he digged into his pocket and took his phone out. His phone read 11:30 pm and he apparently sleep for whole day and a half. Sam put his phone away and rubbed his eyes gently and hugged his knees to his chest and rested his head on them. He remained in that position for a few minutes before he realized he was surrounded by the sound of silence. Worry stuck him instantly, his first thoughts were to run to Dean, but he couldn't bring himself to look at what his brother had become. Dam needed help, he can do this alone, he's scared. Sam brought his hands to his hair and pulled his hair, as his eyes watered again. He was alone, he had no one, everyone he loved was dead. He always knew he would one day be alone, but what he considered alone, always involved Dean. Sam jolted a full two feet away from his spot, his vibrating phone got the better of him.

As he pulled out his phone he felt instant relief and maybe a bit warm. It was a text. 

"Sam, I'm sorry for what happened to Dean. Please don't bury him yet, I want to say a few things before we do. I will be there shortly.  
-Castiel"

Sam had just barely a ghost of a smile as he slowly stood up and cried again. 

He wasn't completely alone. He still had someone who he could call family. Cas will be back soon, then he won't be alone. He cried because the angel didn't know the once hunter, became a hunters specialty. Sam didn't know how Castiel will react to this. Castiel always did share a more profound bond with Dean, anything his brother wanted Cas did it for him. Castiel actually sacrificed everything for Dean. It's no secret that Castiel has a soft spot for Dean, the Angel always came when he called. Even when Dean half assed a prayer, insulting him, Cas always came. What's going to happen when he sees with his own eyes, that Dean, the righteous man, Michaels true vessel, the man who God marked as worth saving, was a demon. 

Sam shook his head, he can't cry anymore, he has to see Dean for himself. He has to see if his brother is still in there somewhere. 

He stood before the door where his brother was, just behind the door lays his brother. Sams hands were shaking and sweaty, his heart was beating fast, his breathing became heavy and loud. He tried to calm himself. He needed to show Dean and himself that he was going to be okay. Everything was going to be different but okay. 

He didn't even take a breath, he just opened the doors, they squeaked as they opened. He in a million years, did not ever expect to see what he saw. 

In the farthest corner of the room, laid Deans form cross legged and weeping as he prayed.

Sam was speechless. Is this possible? Is this allowed? 

Dean squeezed his eyes and his mouth was whispering silent whispers, then his eyes snapped open revealing his pitch black pools just for a second before returning to their normal green. Sam flinched. He knows he shouldn't have, then again this situation was terrifying. Dean looked away somewhere at the floor. They needed to talk but how do they approach this?

Sam remained outside of the room looking in, as Dean stood up. Sams heart picked up speed, the pit of his stomach starting to twist. He wanted to run but he couldn't. Not from Dean, he is still his brother. 

Neither moving or speaking for sometime, until one broke the silence.

"You're broken and rusty, but you try. Your glow isn't as bright as it could be but you try." Said a small raspy voice. Sam didn't understand what that meant, he opened his mouth to ask him what that meant or what was he taking about. But nothing came out. Dean looked away from Sam, he remained at the farthest corner. His face looked calmed, but his eyes, they held a faded light of emotions. Sam closed his eyes momentarily and inhaled. He opened his eyes and exhaled. He stepped into the room, crossing the devils trap, going to Dean. Sam couldn't speak, he didn't know what to say, but he and Dean had ways of communicating when they were at loss for words. 

Sam hugged Dean, his eyes watered as he hugged him. Dean didn't hug back. Sam understood what that meant. What Dean doesn't realize is that Sam was always the more understanding brother, Sam knows what it was like to be a monster. Sure Dean never approved of Sam drinking demon blood, and he said hurtful things to him, but deep down inside, Dean always cared. No matter what Dean had his back, Dean was always going to have his back. Dean fails to realize that, despite what Sam has said and done in the past, Sam will always have Deans back too. Sam felt a single tear escape is eye, he squeezed Dean just a little tighter, and whispered in a small voice, but Dean hears him loud and clear. "I have your back Dean. It's okay." Sam didn't expect a reply, or nod or anything, because Dean always thought he wasn't worth anything, that his existence was insignificant. Dean closed his eyes and accepted the hug his little brother offered. He didn't do anything of course. Just take it like he did everything else. Sudden anger bubbled in Dean. He shoved Sam away from him a few feet. "Sam you don't fucking understand. You can't feel this dread I'm feeling. Leave!! You bastard how the fuck can you look me in the eyes and tell me it's okay?! Leave!!" He yelled. Sam rubbed his chest were Dean shoved him, Dean knocked the air out of him, he took a few moments to regain his air loss. He looked at Dean, he cursed his eyes for getting watery yet again. "Dean," he said walking to him once more, stepping too close. "Dean please, it's okay. We'll find a way to-" "JUST SHUT THE HELL UP SAM!!" Dean screamed his eyes flashing black and his face scrunching into something animistic and punched Sam to a wall. Everything went black for a moment, his head throbbed, and his ears were ringing. He dug into his pocket and tried to stand upright. He looked down and hurriedly turned to exit the room. Just before he walked out, without facing Dean, did he say in a cracked voice, "Cas is coming." And threw a grenade, containing holy water, he made and before he could hear Deans reply he shut the doors and put the fake bookshelf cover back to the doors. As he ran up the stairs he heard Deans cries of agonizing pain. 

It was nearly two in the morning when he made it to the bunker. He walked to passed by Deans room and ignored the sting he felt in his chest. He stopped at Sams door and knocked. He waited a few moments, maybe he should have waited until morning, Sam was sleeping and he was disturbing him after what happened to Dean. He shut his eyes in pain. He'll never see Dean again. Not in person, but in eternal paradise, heaven. He wished he could have told Dean. He had all the time in world, and yet, he never told him, now that he's gone, he won't hear it. The only way he could redeem himself was to be there for Deans funeral and say-  
The door slowly creaked open about an inch, maybe less, it was dark and he could barely see but he saw a familiar soul. "Hello Sam." He greeted sadly. Sam, feeling relieved, opened the door a little wider and slid out of his room into the hallway with Castiel. Sam hugged Castiel tightly. Castiel hugged him back just as tight and they stayed in the position for a while. Neither said a thing, just the sounds of their breathing. 

A sudden noise made them jump and release each other. Castiel, angel blade in hand, ready to attack. He looked around and saw nothing. He turned to Sam to see his eyes watery, heavy breathing, one hand covering his mouth, obviously trying to cover his weeping noises and looked utterly and completely undone. Cas put his weapon away and put a hand on Sam, but Sam smacked it away. "Sam what's wrong? What's going on?" Castiel asked concern in his voice. "Who else is here?"  
Sam closed his eyes tightly and turned away, 'You don't want to know' he thought. 

"Sam! Answer me!!" Castiel yelled. Dean was dead and Sam is broken, he's no better himself, but if there's an enemy here, like Crowley or some new enemy, he has to protect Sam. Sam must live because he's all he has left. 

The noise got louder and suddenly the angel knew where it was coming from. How could he not sense that before? He took out his angel blade and ran to the dungeon. He slammed the doors open, and ripped open the fake bookcase doors, and pushed the room doors open. 

It was really dark, no light peeked in or out of the room or anywhere near. He couldn't see a thing, but he felt it. Something very strong, something dark. Yet it seemed distantly familiar. 

His grip on his blade tightened and he stepped into the dungeon. He couldn't see, the light wiring must have blown a fuse. He took each step slowly and quietly. He was alert to any noise, but heard nothing more. No breathing, no steps, nothing. Maybe his emotions are heightened. He's broken and lost and his paranoia got the better of him. Maybe those noises were caused by a box falling over or something. 

Without warning the lights flickered back on. As the light granted him sight he saw he was nearly going to bump into a wall. He turned to walk back to Sam upstairs but was roughly pushed against the wall with inhuman strength. A hand shoving his head into the wall, an arm twisting his left arm into his back, and a leg crossing between his. With his other hand he (as best as he could) tries to blindly stab the hand at his head, it pulled away for just a second but the assaulter's body flinched for a second too. He took his chance and elbowed for the lower stomach and turned sharply to deliver a one hit KO. 

Arm in at air, aiming for the chest, he stopped. He met eyes with the attacker. He dropped his weapon and hugged him tight, like the one time they both embraced each other.

He couldn't explain what he was feeling, he felt happy, excited, confused, scared, nervous, relieved, his eyes were watery, he wanted to cry, he didn't know it was possible to feel all these emotions at once. He wanted to speak, he did, but his mouth and brain didn't work. Instead he squeezed him tighter and rested his head on the shoulder that he did so once before, he shut his eyes and enjoyed this blessing. His righteous man was his again. 

The hug might have one sided, but it meant the world to Castiel. To hold him, to have him here and alive, to even hear him breathe was enough to make the angel kick mountains for fun. This man, was a part of him now, always and forever. 

Dean shifted under the hug, but Castiel didn't let go, on the contrary, he squeezed him tighter as if he might disappear into nothing. Dean places his arms on Castiels shoulders and pulled him back forcefully and slammed him on to the wall once again. The blue eyes angel was shocked to say, that Dean would this again, he tried to look him in the eyes but Dean wouldn't meet his gaze. "Dean," he started in a calm voice, full of so many feelings. He raised to hand to his shoulder only to have it shoved off before it made contact. "Leave." Dean growled as he turned his back to the angel. Dean has told Castiel two times prior that he wasn't welcome to stay, but this time it was different. He felt physically hurt, but he stayed strong. "What's wrong Dean? Are you feeling okay?" He asked. No response. He started to panicking. "Dean, please talk to me. I'm worried. Dean!" 

His eyebrows furrowed and he stepped forth and made Dean face him as he gripped his shoulder right and turned him. "Dammit stop!!" Dean screamed, "can't you take the fucking hint and leave! We don't need you anymore, we can take care of our selves. Leave and don't come back!" He shouted. Cas winced but remained calm. 

"I see you." He said as he looked into those pitch black eyes. "Dean, I don't care with what eyes you look me, I don't care what you are, I don't care about what you became, I dont care that you're one of the strongest creatures hell as seen." He paused, "You can fight me, threaten me, hurt me, do anything you feel like doing to me, but I'm not leaving," He said calmly, as he looked into his eyes. They were approximately one foot away from each other yet it seemed like a lifetime away to the angel. He dared to step closer. "I can't loose you again." He whispered. His eyes looked misty again but he ignored it. "When I heard you were dead I felt my entire existence turn to ash. A void developed in my heart. Dean, I was lost. I lost myself when I heard you were dead." He paused as his mind replayed the words 'he's dead'. "Then I saw the blade with your blood, I shattered. I became nothing." He shut his eyes, feeling tears forming. He opened his eyes again, if the tears wanted in, then let the tears come. "While i was in heaven, you were the only thiing ion my mind. There was so many things i had to say to you, and I thought I would never get to tell you in the flesh. I was going to say them at your burial." Cas saw the way Dean slightly shook, trying to keep himself from breaking before the angel. Castiel took a small shaky breath and thought to himself, 'Now or never, you have said too much, might as well finish everything like I should have done years ago.' and began. "We've been through so much together. You and I. Everything I ever did was for you. I rebelled for you, I killed for you, I broke the rules for you, I did it all. You were my inspiration, you were my everyday thought, you were my new beginning. I learned so much from my time with you, I might be an angel, a broken, pathetic excuse of one, but you made me feel like I could do anything. When I heard you were killed, I didn't want to be human anymore. Do you know why? Because a human life means nothing to me if I can't spend it with you." He raised his hand and caressed Deans face. Dean looked at Cas the entire time with his dark pools, he had known of Castiels slight fascination with him, he was sold when he said they shared a "profound bond" but he never knew just how deep Cas felt for him. He shut his eyes and leaned into the touch. "You were the only reason I ever even considered becoming human. I wanted to share the rest of my life with you. To laugh with you, to sleep with you, to grow old and grey with you, to love you Dean." Dean winced, and opened his eyes. He looked into Castiels eyes. So blue and full of light. "I promise I'll take care of Sam and your car. Don't worry, after Sam is gone I'll still take her out for rides, fill her with gas, wash her, and if she brakes I'll fix her. I wont take out the little toy soldiers Sam got stuck in the ashtray, or the lego blocks you stuck in the vent, or the initials you carved into her. I'll watch over Ben and Lisa because you loved them more than anything, that whole year you were with them I was actually watching you. I have never seen you so happy. My heart filled with nothing but glee for you. You helped me understand human emotion, because I felt it every time I was with you." The angel stopped for a moment to wrap up his thoughts, he said them countless of times in his head, but when it actually saying it, that was a whole new level. He took another soft breath, his voice cracking slightly. "I'm very sorry I did not have the courage to tell you years ago, I'm sorry I missed my chance at happiness with you, I'm sorry for not telling you how much I love you." He could feel his core start cracking. "I know you might not like it, but I'll bring you flowers everyday for the rest of my existence. The last thing I have to say is thank you. You set me free. You gave me free will, and for that i will always be grateful. Dean Winchester, may you rest in eternal peace." He finished saying the words he couldn't bring himself to say to the man he blindly loved.

 

'I'm very sorry I did not have the courage to tell you years ago, I'm sorry I missed my chance at happiness with you, I'm sorry for not telling you how much I love you.' was all that played through Deans mind. For minutes the looked into each others eyes. Dean didn't know how to react. He wanted to cry, scream out loud, to kiss the angel, he didn't know what to do. This celestial being, one of Gods warriors, was in love with him. How could that be so? He should be with someone of his caliber, someone just as pure... Not some dead beat shitty human. Much less one of hell's warriors. Before he became this beast he had feelings for the angel. He was planning to take that secret with him to the grave. He was touched by Castiels words and promises, but he cant be with him, maybe if would have stayed human, but he was a full angel once again. What he failed to notice was the fact that for the first time, he could see the physically angel. 

"I see you." He said in his voice soft. "You're beautiful Castiel." He brought a hand to wrap around the hand cupping his face. He saw the full form of the angel before him, he wasn't all glowing white like he believed him to be, he was all the colors of the rainbow. Not bold solid colors though, he glowed very light shades of them. His wings were beyond words. Words like gigantic, magical, mysterious, no words could or would be able to describe them. They were perfect, the angel was perfection, in every aspect. He didn't know why he wasn't burning away like other demons would, but he was glad he didn't, this sight is a once in a life time. Dean put his other hand on his face, covering it. "I fucked up Cas." His voice broke. He squeezed his eyes tight under his hand. Castiel stepped closer and embraced Dean tight. "It's okay Dean, we can fix it. We always pull through no matter what. Us against the world." He said into Deans ear. Dean moved his hands and hugged Cas just as tight. 

"I love you Cas, you're too good for me. I'm sorry. I'm an abomination now, damned for eternity. Why did you have to fall for a cursed man?"

Castiel closed his eyes and buried his face in between Deans shoulder and neck before pulling away and looked him in the eyes. His eyes regained their bright life green color, his eyes were a bit red, full of fear, regret, loss and mourning. Never has the hunter looked so small or defenseless. The angel could feel his heart ripping apart as he looked at him. He needed to know that he wasn't alone, that he was loved. That Castiel loved him no matter what. With his foot he broke the devils trap and closed his eyes and softly pressed his lips against the hunters in a small, sweet, promise filled kiss and smiled. "Because I'd rather have you, cursed or not. Remember?"


End file.
